being alive

Today we had three more quick assignments on our birth. The first was a simple recount of that event.

"Yeah, but you didn't." That's what I always say to people who say they almost or could have died at some point. "You're here, now." 'Cause they say I could have. But imagine that. My whole two minutes of life flashing before me -- birth canal, birth canal, light, cry -- yeah. So actually, it wasn't a big deal, but I had mucus in my throat, which after research, I still forget what it's called, but it's feces in there. Then the doctors got it out and set me right by slapping me and all was well. More importantly, my dad was jumping up and down yelling, "It's a girl, it's a girl!" I asked later and I am proud to say that when, eight years later, my brother, with Dad's second wife, was born, there was no jumping.

Then we had to write about how our birth somehow relates to who we are now.

I took a long time to come out. My mom was in labor for 36-1/2 hours. I finally came out around 3:00 in the afternoon on a sunny April day. You see, I do what I want. I guess I just wasn't ready to come out of my warm little cocoon, so I didn't. But when I came around, it was great. They called me "The Amazing Blonde Baby" at the hospital because I came out with a full head of blonde hair. I try to connect this event with my other characteristics, like sticktoitiveness, but mostly, like my astrological sign, Taurus, I'm a bull. That sounds a little masculine and way arrogant, but if my birth were not an indication of who I would later grow up to be, I don't know what is.

Then we had to write about our birth from someone else's perspective. I wanted to be silly and a little edgy, so it's from God's POV.

The day before, I induced labor pains. They never can tell in the beginning if it's going to be an easy or a hard birth. But I believe it should go one way or the other and for a reason. It's a very important moment, which begins an enormous responsibility. That's why the first is always worst and after that, it's easier. After the second or third, I just let them pop right out. But sometimes it has to be meaningful. This one had to count, and it had to be hard enough to render the baby forever an only child. That's what I had it take so long. Who would want to go through that again?

Then I had to write about my name, but that's boring and basically it is that my mom asked the people at her baby shower and someone suggested "Alicia" and she liked it a lot, the end.

first memory

Today we had a series of three writing exercises. Before we began, we had to write down our first memory. The first exercise was to make up a character and write a fiction piece describing the memory from the character's point of view. The second exercise was to write a poem about the memory. The third was to write a non-fiction account of it. Here is the third:

I think it was my birthday, maybe number three, but also, maybe it wasn't because we usually spent them at Papa Gino's. My mom used to be a product manager for Cabbage Patch Dolls, among other things, and she must have brought home a prototype for a new toy. She must have invited some of my friends to gather 'round as she showed how to play with the toy. What I remember, though, is this surge of jealousy and anger. No, this is my mom, and also, hey, my birthday, so back off, and let my mom play with me. As I write this, the anger is towards my friends and not my mom for ignoring me, though up until now I always remembered resenting her instead.

Here's the first fiction part, too. I made up a male character who was in jail, convicted of killing his mother. Yeah, real uplifting.

When I think back to my earliest memory, I think of my mother and how even then, she always favored others over me. It was my birthday and Aunt Betty had just given me a red fire truck she bought down at the dollar store on her way to the party. I remember my mother taking this toy over to my cousin Jimmy and helping him clip off the pieces of plastic that held the truck to its cardboard container. Then I watched as she handed it to him, and Jimmy raced around the living room with my toy clutched in his little hand.

I didn't want to post the poem because though my intention was to write a true, personal piece, I was still living in this sort of fictional world after the first exercise and I think a lot of the poem was made up. It sounds really personal, but I don't want to give the impression that these words are entirely how I feel. Anyway, whatever, here's that part, too.

I see your hands, there is no face
On me, or you, or the girl I'm sitting next to
I see a gift, and it belongs to me
But you're helping her, and inside I'm crying
I think of how you were great to me
And in reality I shouldn't have been so selfish
To think I should keep you all to my own
When you think back on that moment
You would never see my jealousy
And that's precisely why I remained an only child

creative writing

Today was the first day of summer session II. I am taking a class called Basic Reporting and one called Introduction to Creative Writing. The latter class meets Monday through Thursday for 110 minutes (as opposed to the former, which meets twice a week for a whopping and unbearable 3 hours and 40 minutes per class). In class we had a short, 10 minute free write in which we were to describe a memory or an image of ourselves that was autobiographical in whole and really described us. This is what I wrote, and I will hopefully continue to share my writing in that class over the next five weeks.

"Quitting"
I had two blankets growing up, "B-1" and "B-2." I would hold one up to my nose and smell it as I sucked my thumb. I loved smells, and I still do, so it wasn't the thumb sucking that I was particurally attached to, but I'd done it practically all my life. One day, when I was five, or maybe eight, I went to the dentist. He told me my thumb sucking would set my teeth permenantly out of line if I didn't stop. He gave me until my next visit to quit. That was the last day I ever sucked my thumb.

collage & assemblage

I'm not going to post all of the images of my work for Collage & Assemblage, but here's is a link to all of them on Flickr!

exercise

I'm trying to get myself addicted to the gym. I go through cycles where I go many times a week and then times when I don't go for nearly a month. I always do the elliptical for cardio. Usually I just set my own pace, but the other day I did this preset workout designed for weight loss. It takes about 33 minutes to complete, burns about 246 calories, and travels about 2.78 miles. Yesterday I nearly did it twice (I didn't do the cool-down part the first go round, so I think it ended up being about 55 minutes total), but today I did it fully twice. I nearly didn't make it home because my body was so tired and I was so hungry (thought I'd eaten breakfast an hour or two before). I downed some cottage cheese with saltines and some orange juice. When that wasn't enough, I had a few fingers full of peanut better and two cookies. I ate so fast my stomach is hurting digesting it. Now I'm waiting for the boy to bring me home some Pinkberry, yet I already know I'm full from what I just ate. I'm going to have the Pinkberry anyway though because I love it so much.

just a post

Some things.

I always love how inexpensive H&M is, and also Urban Outfitters' sale items. Last time I was at UO, I tried on this awesome shirt, but for $42, I passed. I sort of have this rule that I won't spend more than $30 usually for a shirt of any kind. I just feel that it isn't right to charge more than that for some cloth sewn together when I can find other clothes for cheaper that still look good. Anyway today I saw the same shirt (some may call it a blouse) for $19.99, so I got it and one in another color. Good deal, yo, glad I didn't waste the extra $22.

Still very in love with Pinkberry. Have I mentioned that before? Also I really like Sedutto's Frogurt. It doesn't taste quite as good as Pinkberry, but it is very good nonetheless and cheaper.

Last thing. Growing up, I always hated cottage cheese. Now I love the stuff. I usually eat one meal a day of just cottage cheese. The nonfat kind. Can you comprehend these amazing nutrition facts? Serving size 1/2 cup. Calories 80. Fat 0g. Carbohydrates 4g. Protein 15g. 15!!! In just a half cup. Cottage cheese is amazing.

shoot me

A bunch of us are going to see The Dark Night when it opens at midnight on July 18th. I bought tickets on Fandango a few days ago. Soon after, I realized that I was planning to visit my aunt, uncle and cousins at their vacation home on Fire Island on Thursday and Friday. I was, that is, so long as Jolly got the external fixators off her leg today. It's been over 8 weeks since her surgery and we went in for x-rays and to see if she can get them off. I was really looking forward to going to Fire Island. Figures that I can still go to The Dark Knight now, since Jolly now has to have the fixators on for another 4 whole weeks. I should have known I wouldn't get to Fire Island when I had more than one thing to do that day.
I am absolutely devastated. I am so tired of this ordeal with my dog, I want it to be over with. She hasn't been allowed to run around since last September. She's only a year and a half old, we're talking half her life. It will have been nearly a year before she can really run again.
The good news, strange news, is that the doctor said she can have short runs now. That's never been allowed before. He doesn't mean full-speed run, but a canter, and only briefly. So I'm thinking if she's allowed to do that at 8 weeks, maybe in 4 more weeks, she really will be able to run around again like normal.
The worse news is this puts my vacation to Maine on very rocky ground. We're going to have to talk about this a lot.
So sad. I need a big piece of chocolate cake.

one week left

In exactly a week, I'll be done with summer session I already. That means I'll have 9 more credits. That means I'll be just 1 credit short of being a junior. That means in only one full year, I have gone from having 0 credits to 59 credits. That means in 2 years and 2 months I will have earned a B.A. That means ha ha to people who spread college out over 4 years when I'm done after 2 full ones.

happy half-year

Guess what today is? Exactly half-way through the year. It's hard to tell when it feels like the time is going slowly or fast, but I'll take the latter and say I can't believe it's July already. I really won't believe it when it's December. The fall semester always goes by the quickest, to me. So many wonderful days off.